Something Funny Going On Here!
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. ~~~~~~~~~~
Just for Fun
from Kelly 9-23-98
5 out of 4 people have trouble with statistics.
Bigamy: One mate too many.
Monogamy: Same idea.
Everyone has a photographic memory,
some just don't have film.
I can never find time to procrastinate.
I can't remember the last time
I forgot something.
I know it all...
I just can't remember it simultaneously.
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence.
Old age isn't so bad
when you consider the alternative.
He kept saying that I didn't listen to him,
or something like that.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Stick: A boomerang that doesn't work.
Synonym: Word used when you can't
spell the one you wanted.
The Apathy Anonymous meeting was cancelled
due to lack of interest.
The Procrastinators Anonymous meeting
has been put off till next week.
There you will find utilities to change the colors of your chat room, add graphics, change some of the chat features, clear your page, and change your password to something more easily remembered.
These from Kelly
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows... and a foundation leaks, and a ball game gets rained out, and a car rusts and... Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down. They say you can't really know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. I say if they've got itsy-bitsy feet or some kinda foot disease, I don't wanna know 'em! It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
These have been used on the page...
She smiled at a sorrowful stranger.
The smile seemed to make him feel better.
He remembered past kindnesses of a friend
And wrote him a thank you letter.
The friend was so pleased with the thank you
That he left a large tip after lunch.
The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip,
Bet the whole thing on a hunch.
The next day she picked up her winnings,
And gave part to a man on the street.
The man on the street was grateful;
For two days he'd had nothing to eat.
After he finished his dinner,
He left for his small dingy room.
(He didn't know at that moment
that he might be facing his doom.)
On the way he picked up a shivering puppy
And took him home to get warm.
The puppy was very grateful
To be in out of the storm.
That night the house caught on fire.
The puppy barked the alarm.
He barked till he woke the whole household
And saved everybody from harm.
One of the boys that he rescued~~~~~~~~~~
Grew up to be President.
All this because of a simple smile
That hadn't cost a cent.
Imagine there is a bank that credits
your account each morning with $86,400.
It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every it evening deletes whatever part of the balance
you failed to use during the day.
What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course!
Each of us has such a bank.
Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost,
whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance.
It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits,
the loss is yours.
There is no going back.
There is no drawing against the "tomorrow";
You must live in the present
on today's deposits.
Invest it wisely to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running.
Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR,
ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH,
ask a mother who gave birth
to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK,
ask the editor
of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR,
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE,
ask a person
who missed the plane.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND,
ask a person who just
avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND,
ask the person who won a silver medal
in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have!
And treasure it more because you shared it
with someone special.
Time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
Today is a gift
That's why it's called the present!
~~~~~~~~~~~Put on Late Night~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To make a Link to the SiteShack.(coffeepage>
the fastes search engine on the net!
Date: Sat, Oct 17, 1998, 1:12pm (CST-1)
I was walking down life's highway a long time ago.
One day I saw a sign that read, "HEAVEN'S GROCERY STORE".
As I got a little closer, the door came open wide,
And when I came to my senses
I was standing inside.
I saw a host of ANGELS.
They were standing everywhere.
One handed me a basket and said, "My Child, shop with care".
Everything a human needed was in that grocery store.
And all you couldn't carry, you could come back
the next day for more.
First, I got some PATIENCE:
LOVE was in the same row.
Further down was UNDERSTANDING: you need that everywhere you go.
I got a box or two of WISDOM, a bag or two of FAITH.
I just couldn't miss the HOLY GHOST, for it was all
over the place.
I stopped to get some STRENGTH, And COURAGE to help me run this race.
By then my basket was getting full,
But I remembered I needed some GRACE.
I didn't forget SALVATION, for SALVATION was free,
So I tried to get enough of that to save both you and me.
Then I started up to the counter to pay my grocery bill,
For I thought I had everything to do the MASTER'S will.
As I went up the aisle, I saw PRAYER:
And I just had to put that in,
For I knew when I stepped outside, I would run into sin.
PEACE AND JOY were plentiful;
they were last on the shelf.
SONG and PRAISE were hanging near,
so I just helped myself.
Then I said to the angel, "Now, how much do I owe?"
He smiled and said,
"Just take them everywhere you go."
Again, I smiled and said, "How much do I really owe?"
He smiled again and said,
"MY CHILD, GOD PAID YOUR BILL A LONG, LONG TIME AGO."
CANCER (ALL WOMEN MUST READ THIS ONE!!)] Fri, Jan 1, 1999, 3:10am (CST+1) Fuchau@aol.com writes: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION. READ IT AND FORWARD IT TO EVERYBODY!!! My name is Carolyn Benivegna, and I have Primary Peritoneal Cancer. This cancer has only recently been identified as its OWN type of cancer; but it is, essentially, Ovarian Cancer. Both types of cancer are diagnosed in the same way (with the "tumor marker" CA-125 blood test), and they are treated in the same way (surgery to remove the primary tumor and then chemotherapy with Taxol and Carboplatin). Having gone through this ordeal, I want to save others from the same fate. That is why I am sending this message to you and hope you will print it and give it or send it via e-mail to everybody you know. One thing I have learned is that each of us must take TOTAL responsibility for our own health care. I thought I had done that because I always had an annual physical, had my annual mammogram and PAP smear, did monthly Self Breast Exam, went to the dentist at least twice/year, etc. I even insisted on a sigmoidoscopy and a bone density test last year. When I had a total hysterectomy in 1993, I thought that I did not have to worry about getting any of the female reproductive organ cancers. LITTLE DID I KNOW! I don't have ovaries (and they were HEALTHY when they were removed!), but I have what is essentially ovarian cancer. Strange, isn't it? These are just SOME of the things our Doctors never tell us. ONE OUT OF EVERY 55 WOMEN WILL GET OVARIAN OR PRIMARY PERITONEAL CANCER! THE "CLASSIC" SYMPTOMS ARE AN ABDOMEN THAT RATHER SUDDENLY ENLARGES AND CONSTIPATION AND/OR DIARRHEA. I had these classic symptoms and went to the Doctor. Because these symptoms seemed to be "abdominal," I went to a gastroenterologist. He ran tests that were designed to determine whether there was a bacterial infection; these tests were negative, and I was diagnosed with "Irritable Bowel Syndrome." I guess I would have accepted this diagnosis had it not been for my enlarged abdomen. I swear to you, it looked like I was 4-5 months pregnant! I, therefore, insisted on more tests. They took an X-Ray of my abdomen; it was negative. I was, again, assured that I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and was encouraged to go on my scheduled month-long trip to Europe. I couldn't wear any of my slacks or shorts because I couldn't get them buttoned, and I KNEW something was radically wrong. I INSISTED on more tests, and they (reluctantly) scheduled me for a CT-Scan (just to shut me up, I think). This is what I mean by taking charge of our own health care. The CT-Scan showed a lot of fluid in my abdomen (NOT normal!). Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip and have FIVE POUNDS of fluid drawn off at the hospital (not a pleasant procedure, I assure you, but NOTHING compared to what was ahead of me). Tests revealed cancer cells in the fluid. Finally, finally, finally, the Doctor ran a CA-125 blood test and I was properly diagnosed. I HAD THE CLASSIC SYMPTOMS FOR OVARIAN CANCER, AND YET, THIS SIMPLE CA-125 BLOOD TEST HAD NEVER BEEN RUN ON ME . . . NOT AS PART OF MY ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAM AND NOT WHEN I WAS SYMPTOMATIC. THIS IS AN INEXPENSIVE AND SIMPLE BLOOD TEST!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, P-L-E-A-S-E TELL ALL YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TO INSIST ON A CA-125 BLOOD TEST EVERY YEAR AS PART OF THEIR ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAMS. BE FOREWARNED THAT THEIR DOCTORS MIGHT TRY TO TALK THEM OUT OF IT, SAYING "IT ISN'T NECESSARY." BELIEVE ME, HAD I KNOWN THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW, WE WOULD HAVE CAUGHT MY CANCER MUCH EARLIER (BEFORE IT WAS A STAGE 3 CANCER)!! DO INSIST ON THE CA-125 BLOOD TEST; DON'T TAKE "NO" FOR AN ANSWER. THE NORMAL RANGE FOR A CA-125 BLOOD TEST IS BETWEEN ZERO AND 35. (MINE WAS 754 ... THAT'S RIGHT, 754!) IF THE NUMBER IS SLIGHTLY ELEVATED, YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER ONE DONE IN THREE OR SIX MONTHS AND KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON IT JUST LIKE WOMEN DO WHEN THEY HAVE FIBROID TUMORS OR WHEN MEN HAVE A SLIGHTLY ELEVATED PSA TEST (PROSTATE SPECIFIC ANTIGENS) THAT HELPS DIAGNOSE PROSTATE CANCER. HAVING THE CA-125 TEST DONE ANNUALLY CAN ALERT YOU EARLY, AND THAT'S THE GOAL IN DIAGNOSING ANY TYPE OF CANCER--CATCH IT EARLY. I hope I haven't bored you with all of this. But I hope I HAVE scared you enough to motivate you to action. Do YOU know 55 women? If so, at least one of them will have this VERY AGGRESSIVE cancer-and maybe, just maybe, it will be YOU. I hope not. Please, go to your Doctor THIS WEEK and insist on a CA-125 test and have one EVERY YEAR for the rest of your life. And forward this message to every woman you know and tell all of your female family members and friends. As the Nike ads say, "JUST DO IT!" Please don't think youth will protect you, either. Though the median age for this cancer is 56 (and, guess what, I'm exactly 56),women as young as 22 have it. Age is not a factor. Thank you for your time. My best wishes for your continued good health. Carolyn Benivegna